


Soft Lace for Sharp Edges

by mourntheantagonist



Series: Billy Hargrove’s Exploration of Beauty [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy’s Struggling, Crying Billy Hargrove, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Lingerie, M/M, Panic Attacks (implied), Steve is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28589898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mourntheantagonist/pseuds/mourntheantagonist
Summary: Billy Hargrove and the little lace teddy.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Series: Billy Hargrove’s Exploration of Beauty [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096136
Comments: 12
Kudos: 112





	Soft Lace for Sharp Edges

**Author's Note:**

> a part two to [this](https://mourntheantagonist.tumblr.com/post/639437006196342785/steve-gets-billy-a-bunch-of-toys-from-sex-stores)
> 
> not necessary but gives a little extra context!!

That little lace teddy sat in his drawer with the tags still on. Well, not his drawer. Not the one at his house. The one he had at Steve’s house. Which was weird to think about. Having his own drawer in Steve’s dresser. A dent that he filled with underwear and socks and spare clothes and that  _ fucking lace teddy  _ Steve bought for him. The one he nervously asked for. The one he lets sit there in the drawer to collect dust. Because he’s terrified.

He wanted so badly to put it on. To feel the lace against his skin. Feel the tightness in his crotch as he tucked his dick into the fabric meant for a woman. Let his hair down and just look at himself in the mirror. See his rough and tough exterior wrapped in a soft mesh. He wanted to feel beautiful. Masculine and feminine all in the same. 

But he felt like everything would change once he put the thing on. Years and years of his life spent sharpening his edges until he was almost painful to the touch. Keeping himself as sharp as possible so he’d have a form of defense at all times. But every time you sharpen something, you lose a piece in the process. Wearing yourself down each and every time. Sometimes until there’s nothing left. Sometimes until you broke. 

Steve helped to blur some of his harsh edges. Sharp corners rounded and safe to touch. But he still maintained remnants of past efforts. Rooted deep inside of him and exerted outwardly all the way to just his appearance. Just in the way he moved through life as a razor blade. 

This hunk of fabric could be the thing to dull him out. Soft around the edges, gentle to the touch. Not the Billy Hargrove he’d so carefully curated. Overly masculine manly man. Five-foot-ten of pure testosterone. 

It was exhausting to be that person. But at the same time, he wasn’t ready to let that person go. Because he has no idea who he is other than what he’s told other people. If he decides to let that person go, who will he be after? Will he like this person better? 

Will Steve like this person better?

That was the other thing.

Steve.

Steve  _ bought _ it for him. Yet Billy was terrified of letting Steve see him wearing it. Even though he knew he wouldn’t judge him. Even though he knew he wouldn’t laugh at him. It didn’t matter. Because Steve would see him.  _ Him.  _ Not the Billy who used violence as a way of making a point. Not the Billy who blasted heavy metal in his car as he put the pedal to the floor. He’d see the Billy who could finally breathe. The Billy whose dream as a kid was always to fall in love. The Billy who wore jewelry and his hair long because it made him feel pretty.

He’d see the Billy who could finally breathe. 

But his lungs would be sitting in Steve’s hands.

He could easily crush them.

Steve never asked about it. He could sense something wrong every time Billy opened the drawer to get out a change of clothes. Pausing. Staring. Shifting things around until he would slam it shut.

He was a little disappointed after the first week went by and Billy hadn’t tried it on. He wanted to ask about it. Ask him to try it on for him. Show some interest.

But there was a glint in his eye when he looked at it in the store. Something that told him that this wasn’t something he was wanting for Steve. Not something he wanted just to show Steve. It felt more personal to him. Something private. Something he would share when he was ready.

So Steve didn’t push. Didn’t ask about it. Didn’t pry. 

He did little things instead.

Everytime Billy left, he’d move it to the top of the drawer. Folded nice and neatly. Visible as soon as he opened it. Billy would hide it under his jeans every time.

It was a way to tell him it was okay without actually saying it. Without confrontation. Something Billy would notice but not have to respond to. An easy out.

And then there comes a moment. Billy spilled his drink all down the front of his shirt after Steve jumped onto him. With a laugh he excused himself to go upstairs to his room to clean off and change.

And sure enough when he opened his drawer it was right there on top of everything. 

The only difference this time was that he was alone.

And before he even had the time to think about what he was doing he was pulling the garment from the drawer and closing the bathroom door behind him. 

He stripped off his wet shirt and jeans until he was standing in front of the mirror in nothing but his briefs. He held the teddy by the straps with only one finger each, almost like it might burn him. 

He inspected it carefully. Delicate. Like a flower. Not like Billy. 

The next step was taking off the tag. A simple task that felt impossible. Another point at which he wouldn’t be able to turn back.

He clenched his teeth and pulled it off. Letting paper and plastic drop to the bathroom floor.

The teddy was a dark green. Emerald. Sheer all the way up and down with little flower embroideries decorating it. There were little ribbons in the back to tie it up so it would fit his form. 

He pulled off his underwear. Let them drop to the floor. 

He turned himself away from the mirror, and pulled on. Slowly. One leg at a time. Carefully pulling the straps over his shoulders. Tucking his dick back and shifting the fabric until he was mostly covered. Tightening the strings in the back until it was tight all around him, and he could feel every inch of it against his body. 

He looked down at himself, back still turned to the mirror. Tracing fingers up and down the lace and gazing at his appearance. Looking at himself in the teddy like he was looking at someone else wearing it. Made it a little easier. No face attached to the body. 

It was loose around his chest, tight around his groin. But still it looked nice. It felt nice. 

And then he turned around. 

And he broke down.

Because it was him looking back at himself in the mirror.

_ Him. _

He collapsed onto the floor. Shaking. Breathing heavily. Choking on tears.

He wasn’t sad. 

He was completely overwhelmed.

And he didn’t know what to do. 

He brought his knees to his chest and his hands to his ears and just let himself cry. Quiet as possible. The only sounds escaping him being the sounds of uneven breaths and sniffling through the nose.

Then there’s a knock.

“Billy?” It’s muffled through the door. Just the sound of Steve’s voice ends his streak of silence. A sob escaping passed his lips.

“You’ve been in there a while. Are you okay?”

Billy doesn’t answer. Continues to wipe away at continuously forming tears like it will do anything and holds his breath to quiet his cries. 

“I’m coming in, okay?”

Billy shakes his head, even though Steve can’t see it. Even though he knew if he did Steve would come in anyway.

Steve is quickly kneeling in front of him. Hands finding their way to his cheeks, gently holding his face in his hands as he makes Billy look his way. But his eyes are closed.

He can’t look at him.

He’s holding his lungs in his hands.

“Breathe.” He says.

Thumbing away at tears he demonstrates. Deep breath in and out. Over and over again until Billy matches his rhythm. Slow yet shaky breaths. But he’s breathing. 

Steve takes a good look at Billy’s appearance while Billy calms down. Not really realizing until then what Billy has on. The dark green contrasting nicely under tan skin. He looks good. He looks really good.

He moves his hands down, tracing the curves of Billy’s waist. Lace fabric brushing against his palms. Billy’s breath hitches. And he looks at Steve. He finally looks at Steve with open eyes. And Steve looks back at him and smiles.

“You look beautiful.”

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [mourntheantagonist](https://mourntheantagonist.tumblr.com)
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated!!


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